


in which curiosity didn't kill the cat

by nimsayee



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ?????? does enjoying getting bitten by a vampire count as masochism idk, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Blood Drinking, Gratuitous use of italics, Light Masochism, Making Out, Non-Graphic Violence, Other, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Rainbow Drinker Kanaya Maryam, Soft M Rating, but its consensual, i dont know i dont think it belongs in t, i think sburb doesnt happen in this one, reader is horny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29429844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimsayee/pseuds/nimsayee
Summary: You've heard word of a Jadeblood living out of the caverns, and although you're not exactly a connoisseur of Alternian customs, you're still pretty sure that's not supposed to happen. So you made the very sound and reasonable decision to investigate.Needless to say it doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Kanaya Maryam/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	in which curiosity didn't kill the cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dorrarin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorrarin/gifts).



> wrote this one as a gift for my friend's birthday but it spiralled out of my control and it took me like a month and a half. oops. didn't proofread some parts because i've looked at this file for so long i might explode if i do that for one more minute. this has been sitting in my drafts for SO long

You've always liked to think of yourself as a curious person. You also liked to think it was an advantage rather than a defect. Yeah, curiosity killed the cat and all that, but the thing is; you’re not a cat -- nor a meowbeast, or whatever the hell it is that trolls call them -- so your point still stands.

But this time, you had to admit; your curiosity was proving to be more of a problem than you initially thought it would be. It might, literally, kill the cat – assuming you were the cat in this scenario. What you’re trying to say, is that you were in danger of imminent death because you stuck your nose fuck deep into other people’s business.

It all started when you heard rumors about a jadeblood living out of the caves. Granted, you weren’t exactly an expert on Alternian culture. You’d only stranded on this hellhole of a planet a few months ago – which now that you think about it should’ve been the first sign your search for novelty was getting problematic. But still, you did know jadebloods were supposed to live in the caves and not anywhere else.

You got the idea that they were more or less the troll equivalent of midwives, if midwives weren’t allowed to leave the hospital, were chosen through an intricate caste system they had no say in and also had to watch babies undergo lethal trials at the ripe age of three to decide if they were strong enough survive in society. Basically midwives living on hardcore mode, not very fun.

So you could see why they’d want to leave their cave, however you could also see why they wouldn’t. Literally. All you had to do was look up to see the drones patrolling in the sky, looking for any troll unfortunate enough to have infringed Alternia’s strict social code in order to kill them on the spot. Yikes.

Anyway, back to what you were saying. Predictably, your first instinct upon hearing the rumors was to go investigate on your own. Predictably, you managed to learn where the jade lived because nothing spreads as terrifyingly fast as Alternian gossip. Predictably, you decided to disregard all the obvious red flags – risk of being killed, held captive or alternatively getting judged for partaking in a social faux-pas such as impromptu visiting – and show up at their house, unannounced. And the most predictable event of all, it went fucking wrong.

In your defense you had no way of knowing there were actual zombies on Alternia. You now know they’re called the Undead, but at the time where this event took place you were too busy getting swept up in your rising panic to formulate a thought more eloquent than “fuck”. You had been standing at the jade’s doorstep for a few minutes, fiddling with your jacket and trying to gather up the courage to knock. You didn’t have the time to admonish yourself for being a coward because you started hearing suspicious, slurred groaning coming from somewhere behind you and that definitely wasn’t a good sign. It wasn’t, really. Unless you think a swarm of vaguely troll-looking empty eyed, lurching creatures can be qualified as “good”. In which case you are a very deranged individual and should probably seek help.

You weren’t surprised when they surrounded you, tearing at your skin with cracked nails. You struggled for a moment but you knew you stood no chance. They were hungry, and vastly outnumbered you. This is where it ends, you thought. You’ve endured months and months of hardships, outrunning death on an unknown planet with terribly murderous policies, and this is where it catches up to you.

Except it didn’t.

It all happened so fast you had a hard time untangling your memories; a machine whirring, haunting screams, splashes of viscous liquid sent flying everywhere. You later learned it was the blood of the undead. You also learned it was freakishly difficult to wash off.

Your vision cleared, and you stood up on wobbly legs, shaking. That was when you saw her.

She was the very picture of elegance, seemingly unfazed by the slaughter that just took place. Her posture was perfect, her clothes unruffled, even the drops of blood dotting her face didn’t look out of place, as if they were deliberately set on her skin. She was tall, lean, and the red skirt she was wearing made her look even taller, like she was looming over you. Oh, and she also had a chainsaw in her hand. You forgot to mention that. She was so hot you didn’t even see her holding a fucking chainsaw.

And then, with a graceful flick of her wrist, it disappeared -- just straight up vanished. No more goo covered chainsaw. In its place, she was holding a small… black… tube… thing? Lipstick ? Did she have it in her hand this entire time or did her set of skills include birthday party magic tricks? Before you could continue hypothesizing, she lifted the S.B.T.T (Small Black Tube Thing) to her face, swiped her thumb along the plastic surface and pressed it to her parted lips. The movement was so hypnotizing that it took you a while to register that it was, actually, lipstick. God, you were fucked.

She placed the lipstick carefully in her pocket as her gaze settled on you, intense. You felt your knees go weaker than they already were. You survived a zombie attack and now you were going to die from an acute case of the vapors. Sweet. She narrowed her eyes at you.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

She spoke calmly, enunciating each word with care. Her voice was smooth, vaguely velvety. She curled her words in a dignified manner; even the way she cursed had sounded eloquent. It was kind of hot. Fuck.

“Um, I,” you stammered. “I’m visiting ?”

You swallowed. You couldn’t tell her you had stalked her and found out where she lived because you are on a neverending trek for knowledge. Well, at least not while she looked this intimidating.

“I’m a… a tourist.”

She glared at you.

“This is an oasis. There is nothing around to visit, unless you are particularly fond of dunes – which I highly doubt.”

She fished for the S.B.T.T in her pocket and held it up to you menacingly.

“Speak. I am not one for senseless killing, but I won’t hesitate to take drastic measures if I have to.”

You tried to come up with an explanation, a plea, anything, but your mind was blanking fast and your vision was blurring, and before you knew it you had already fallen to the floor, unconscious. You heard her groan in annoyance right before you blacked out.

The situation was almost comical at this point.

*

When you awoke, the first thing that crossed your mind was an observarion about the luminosity of the room you were in -- it was bright, way too bright.The second thing was intense, mind-numbing panic.

What in the ever-loving fuck just happened? You lifted a hand to your throbbing head, and winced in the process. Your arm hurt like a bitch. You reluctantly took a look at it and noticed it was wrapped in crimson bandages -- it stung. You guess those guys messed you up pretty bad, huh? You tried to get up and assess the situation, but you were interrupted by a commandeering voice:

“Stay till. The wound will open up again if you flail around too much.”

You turned around promptly to see the jadeblood coming through the door, ever so graceful. She sat at your side. You were lounged on a couch – hers, presumably. Your brows furrowed.

“What… what happened?” Your voice was weak. You hoped she heard you right.

“You fainted. I carried you back inside my hive.”

You looked down at the bandages around your arm. Did she.. ?

"Yes, I did take care of your wounds, if that is what you are wondering."

“...Why ?”

She shrugged. “You seemed innocuous enough. And I went out of my way to save you from the Undead, so I suppose it would be quite the waste if you bled out at my doorstep.”

“The Undead?”

She cocked an artfully plucked eyebrow.

“I had already presumed you weren’t from around, as seen from your… eccentric demeanor and rather peculiar aspect, and I guess that was my confirmation.”

Ouch.

“As for the undead, they’re troll-eating creatures. They crawl from the sand at sunrise. Fighting them would be suicide under ordinary circumstances, but I’ve lived here long enough to learn how to brave them.”

You felt a sudden surge of energy course through your tired body. There it is ! This is what you’re here for. You're here to learn as much as you can about her situation, remember ? Merits of curiosity and all that. So, how much information can you coax out of her?

“If it’s not too personal, may I ask how long you’ve been living here, all alone?"

You threw her the most sympathetic look you could muster.

"It must be difficult.”

She glared at you -- oh no.

“I believe I am the one who should be asking the questions, seeing as you just barged into my living space, and caused quite the commotion on top of that.”

“I…”

You weren’t good at lying. You were as good as lying as you were at avoiding compromising situations, and you weren’t very good at avoiding compromising situations. You were actually right in the middle of one right now. So you decided to tell the truth. If you were going to die, at least it would be at the hands of a beautiful woman.

“You’re right. I’m not from around here. I'm..." You wiped your hands on your jeans -- or what remained of them. "Well, I realize this doesn’t sound very good, but I heard there was a Jadeblood living on their own, and I honestly got really curious. From what i gather, it seems to be a bit uncommon, and I wanted to go check for myself."

You noticed she was staring intensely at you, suddenly silent. That couldn't be a good sign. You attempted a last minute save before coming to terms with the fact that you were most likely gonna die sawed in two.

"I'm really sorry if I caused you any trouble.”

Her glare softened. Actually, she didn’t look mad, to your utmost relief.

“Well, I suppose I cannot blame you for being inquisitive. The situation is rather unusual, I’ll grant you that."

She paused, as if she was hesitating.

"And if I’m to be sincere, I don’t exactly receive a lot of company. So your presence was as refreshing as it was, well, tedious.”

You couldn't believe it; she wasn’t mad. There were no whirring chainsaws, no sharp teeth, no growling lusii. She wasn’t mad, and she also appreciated your presence. Or at least that's what you think. Her vocabulary was the slightest bit convoluted.

“I’m so glad you’re not mad. I thought you were going to kill me, to be honest.”

You laughed nervously, hoping she wouldn’t take offense to that. You introduced yourself – an attempt to change the subject.

She nodded. “Kanaya.”

Kanaya, huh ? That didn’t ring too bad. Not the worst troll name you’ve ever heard, that’s for sure.

She shifted in her seat, and took a sip from the teacup in her hand. You didn’t even notice she had one. In your defense, you were preoccupied.

The small halt in the conversation allowed you to reorganize your thoughts. Now that you think about it, she never actually explained why she lived on her own. You didn’t mind, at this point you were just glad you were alive, and also utterly infatuated with her.

She must’ve noticed your perplexity, because all of a sudden she set the teacup down, solemn, and sighed.

“I suppose I am now expected to answer your questions.”

“It’s okay, you really don’t have to-“

“No, it’s fine. It’s not a subject that warrants this much gravity, actually.”

She paused.

“To be frank, I’m not sure I can provide an concrete answer to your questions. I’ve lived here for as long as I can remember. I suspect it was my lusus who brought me here in my infancy, although the motive behind that act remains unclear. She refuses to tell me anything on that subject.”

She deftly took the teacup in her hand again, and took an elegant sip.

“I assume what begot the recent rumors was a rather… unpleasant encounter I had with a yellowblood some time ago.”

Her brows furrowed.

“He was involved in some sort of duel strife, I believe, and he was setting it up right next to my hive.” A grim shadow went over her eyes. “I did not appreciate that very much.”

You felt a chill run down your spine. Wow, you really didn’t want to know what happened to that guy. What you wanted to know though, was literally everything about her.

“Don’t you get lonely ?”

She averted her gaze, and looked at the window wistfully, the sun reflected in her eyes.

“Yes, I suppose I do.”

Her words lingered in the air. It hurt to see her look this sad, although you’d only met her a few hours ago. You sensed she wasn’t willing to go further down this specific road, and decided the most appropriate thing to do was to change the subject. You cleared your throat.

“So, the desert, huh ?”

You were not very good at changing the subject. She turned her head back towards you and raised an eyebrow, amused.

“Is that your gauche attempt at rekindling the conversation ?”

“…Maybe.”

“Then I shall humor it. Yes, indeed. The desert. It is very vast.”

And that was when you burst into laughter. And that was also when you hissed in pain. Fuck, you hadn’t fully healed yet, and laughing was just making things worse. Kanaya instinctively rushed over to your side, seemingly worried, and spilled her tea over your bandages in the process. You winced again as hot liquid met damaged skin. How was it still hot after all this time ? Fuck this shit. You felt as if the gods held a personal grudge against you.

Kanaya retrieved her hand with haste, and threw you an apologetic look.

“I… I apologize. Please allow me to help.”

“It’s okay, it’s just tea, Kanaya. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m fairly certain unclean bandages could cause an infection.”

You kept quiet and watched as she untangled the bandages from your arm. Her movements were delicate, skillful – you could tell she had done this many times before. Your skin tingled every time her fingers grazed it. You found it was hard to enjoy the sensation when your arm hurt so bad; the fabric had stuck to your skin and peeling it off proved to be rather painful. You tried not to visibly wince.

Once she had removed the blood-soaked bandages from your arm, she got up from her seat next to you and started frantically searching for clean ones in a first aid kit box. You took this opportunity to hesitantly take a look at the wound. A bad decision, really. You felt nausea creep up inside you at the sight of your arm; swollen, bright red – you could barely pinpoint where the wound actually began. It was a mess. How fucking sharp could the undead’s teeth be? You averted your gaze, lest you throw up on Kanaya’s fancy couch.

It wasn’t long until her attention was centered back on you. You painfully lifted your injured arm toward her in an unspoken understanding – she didn’t even need to ask. She carefully took hold of it and went back to work. You were pretty sure she was supposed to clean and disinfect the bruise before wrapping bandages around it but you felt you didn’t have the right to complain at this point. Maybe this was just the way troll wound treatment worked.

The pressure of fabric against an open incision felt really weird. You shuddered, and Kanaya went still, staring at you with a puzzled look on her face. You could not help but notice how long her eyelashes looked from this distance. Fuck, she was really close. You felt your heartbeat grow faster and you prayed to any god out there that she wouldn’t hear it.

“Are you okay ?”

Before you could answer, you felt the cold touch of her hand against your forehead. It felt nice, unsurprisingly. Your face was getting hot and the feeling of her cool hand on your skin was quite soothing. You leaned into the touch and let out a barely audible sigh. This was getting dangerous.

“You’re burning up,” she said. She sounded worried. “Are you feeling feverish ?”

She dragged her hand down to your cheek, than to your neck, presumably to gauge your temperature. You shivered as her fingernails grazed your skin. You could not remember if it was common to measure body temperature on someone’s neck, and you were too dazed to care. It’s not like your medical knowledge was that extensive anyway.

“It would be unfortunate if you got an infection.” She spoke dangerously close to your ear. You were starting to panic.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m- “

You stopped in your tracks as you felt a sharp pain prick at your neck. “Ouch ?” You craned your neck as best as you could in an attempt to see what exactly had happened - to no avail. Kanaya confusedly followed your gaze down to where her hand rested on your skin and her eyes widened almost comically.

“I’m so sorry, I did not realize-“

She promptly retrieved her hand and placed it back on her lap. You had no idea what just happened. You raised your functional hand to your collarbones and prodded for a wound. You found your fingers were slightly bloody. You looked at Kanaya’s hands, then back at yours. Oh. You got it now. Her nails – claws ? Whatever. She probably dug them a little too hard in your skin.

“I get it. My skin is more fragile than your average troll, so it wasn’t really your fault. It didn’t really hurt that much anyway.”

“No, you don’t understand. That was undeniably my fault,” She insisted.

“What ? I just told you it wasn’t--”

“That’s not what happened,” she almost yelled out. You hadn’t seen her lose her composure all day, which was honestly a prowess considering the series of tortuous event that took place. Seeing her on the verge of lashing out made you feel really guilty, although you still couldn’t wrap your head around this entire conversation. You really hoped she wasn’t mad at you.

She takes a deep breath, and tries again. “I… failed to suppress my urges.”

You were so lost. You were so lost you could clearly picture your metaphorical self stranded several miles away from the metaphorical intended path whilst struggling to use a metaphorical GPS and unfold a comically large metaphorical map. What urges?

Kanaya sighed. She seemed a little exasperated, but you guessed the sentiment was more directed at herself than it was at you. “Do you know what a rainbow drinker is?” She started.

You shook your head no. She shifted in her seat, slightly uncomfortable. “This isn’t exactly the easiest subject to approach.”

You sat up a little straighter, suddenly interested.

“Rainbow drinkers are trolls – usually jadebloods, with a…” Kanaya pauses for a second, carefully considering what she would say next. “With an affinity for blood.” That was apparently the expression she decided to settle for. “There’s really no other way to put it.”

“Oh! Like vampires?”

Kanaya tilted her head in confusion. “What is that?”

“Um, they’re fictional creatures we told stories about back where I was born. They drink people’s blood and live in mansions and all that,” You explain.

“Well, except for the mansion part, that’s more or less accurate to the current subject matter.”

An awkward silence settled over the room. You had no idea what to say next. You mindlessly fumbled with the hem of your shirt and waited for the gods to have mercy on you, or alternatively for Kanaya to say something. Both would do.

“In case you haven’t reached that conclusion on your own already,” she finally said, “I am one of them.” What ? “Rainbow drinkers, that is.”

“Oh.”

Okay. Yeah. That did clarify a few things. You guessed what happened earlier wasn’t an accident, but rather a deliberate attempt to draw blood moved by a vampire need to feed – which she ultimately had no control on, so that doesn’t really alter its previous accident status but rather slightly modifies the parameters to make it a vampire accident instead. That definitely wasn’t a reassuring thought, but strangely you weren’t that alarmed.

“I hope I did not freak you out. I don't intend to pounce on you or anything of the sort.”

“No, it’s…” Kinda hot. Wait, fuck, no, you couldn’t say that. “It’s somehow not freaking me out. I mean I know if you wanted to kill me you would’ve done so already. The opportunities were not exactly lacking.”

She chuckled, then went silent again. Your brain apparently took that as a cue to overflow with increasingly stupid questions, several of which revolved around Kanaya’s recently revealed attribute. How did you end up in a vampire’s house? Does this mean she can’t eat garlic? Why did you think this revelation somehow made her more attractive? And why did you find yourself wanting to indulge her thirst for blood? I mean you always thought vampires were hot, but you never thought you’d actually have the occasion to put that preference into practice. Which you were, because the part of your brain that was in charge of decision-making had fucked off the second this day had started and what was left in its place was nothing but a goo of hormones and impulsivity.

You cleared your throat. “I… actually wouldn’t mind.”

Kanaya furrowed her brows at you. Fuck, this situation suddenly felt more real. You fidget with the hem of your shirt, looking everywhere but Kanaya’s eyes. “If you didn’t suppress your urges, I mean.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit shit fuck shit. What have you done? What in the everloving fuck have you done? You didn’t even have the courage to look her in the eye. You suddenly wished the group of zombies you had encountered earlier actually succeeded in killing you. You fondly pictured that scenario until you were interrupted by Kanaya’s hesitant voice.

“You wouldn’t?”

You tentatively shake your head no.

“But… You are wounded. It would be precarious.”

Wow. You didn’t think she would actually consider it. She must be really hungry, which is a bit depressing but you weren’t complaining if it made the situation twist in your favor. You would rather not think too hard about the fact that your favor consisted of getting the blood sucked out of you by a stranger.

“I didn’t lose that much blood. Plus, you live in the middle of the desert, when else will you get this occasion?”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was still reluctant. You tried again, because apparently you were very insistent on getting ravished by a vampire.

“You just saved my life, this is the least I can do back for you.”

Kanaya’s gaze met yours, intense. She stared at you in silence, as if giving you a last chance to back out. You did not take that chance. You nervously nodded at her, and watched as she got up from her seat at a startling speed. She was either abnormally fast because of her rainbow drinker powers or very eager – you would not have minded either, honestly.

Your over-exerted heart picked up its frantic pace as you saw her hovering over you. She positioned herself on your lap, her thighs on either side of your hips. Fuck, you didn’t expect her to be this assertive. You could hear your own blood pulsing in your ears - you were either dying or ascending to a higher level of being. Again, you found you were strangely fine with both of these possibilities.

“Is this alright?” She asked, a little shy, and you almost jumped at the sound. You nodded a little too enthusiastically. She placed her hand on the crook of your neck, careful not to scrape it too hard and gently nudged your jaw upward. You got the momentum and tilted your head to expose more skin, granting her access. You felt her get closer, held your breath when you felt hers hit your neck - it was cold. You shivered in anticipation, waiting for her lips to connect with your skin. You clenched your jaw and felt your muscles tense up.

You could feel her mouth hovering over your neck, close, yet not close enough to touch. Almost; you closed your eyes and braced yourself to feel Kanaya’s teeth tear through your skin. Another cold breath brushed your skin instead - this was taking longer than you thought it would. Was she hesitating? For fuck’s sake. You lifted a weak hand and placed it on her waist, squeezing gently - a touch you hoped would come off as encouraging instead of horny (In reality, it was both). Kanaya let out a sharp exhale. You hoped that meant she had snapped out of whatever trance she was in. You were about to tighten your grip on her waist once again when she took a deep breath and dug her teeth in your skin.

It felt cold at first. You didn’t know if it was supposed to feel cold – you hadn’t had a lot of experience being a vampire’s prey, and vivid descriptions of biting and/or getting bitten weren’t exactly your field of expertise. Frankly, you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when Kanaya’s lips were on your neck and she was gripping your shoulders as if her life depended on it. It had just felt cold, and you weren’t going to elaborate on that part. 

And then, it felt hot. It felt hot, it felt too hot – it stung. You gripped Kanaya’s waist tighter, and she hummed against your skin. She shifted closer, her chest snug and warm against yours. You felt blood drip along your clavicles and Kanaya’s tongue chasing it, cold against your burning skin. Your vision went blurry. Fuck, you didn’t expect the moment to be this intense. You squirmed in your seat – a survival instinct? You didn’t know. Kanaya’s nails dug into your shoulders and suddenly you couldn’t think anymore. Your dazed brain had officially left this realm; there was nothing left in your skull except for a vaguely viscous looking pile of nerves labeled “horny”, and for a while there was only this; Kanaya’s body pressed to yours, her arms around you, the strange feeling of your blood leaving your body and the even stranger feeling of her sharp teeth planted deep in your skin.

And then you felt Kanaya’s hips press down on yours in an attempt to get closer and you had to stifle an honest to fuck whine. Your hips grinded against hers, seemingly out of their own volition, and it felt so good it momentarily prevented your brain from going into full-blown panic. It wasn’t long until the moment ended and the big pile of horny currently occupying your brain found itself forced to make way for another big pile, this time labeled panic attack. Fuck. _Fuck._ That was blatantly horny. You knew getting bitten by a vampire was always depicted as vaguely sensual but you weren’t certain that basically drooling all over the aforementioned vampire was considered proper etiquette.

You noticed Kanaya had put a halt to her ministrations at your neck, and you began to dig as fast as you could in the depths of your psyche – or whatever was left of it, in hopes of finding a proper explanation to the horny crime you had just committed. You found you had none. After cursing every god whose name you had the misfortune of remembering and directing a particularly vehement string of insults at whichever fucker of them had designed the human body, you turned to look at Kanaya in the eye and resigned yourself to meet whatever horrible fate the universe had prepared for you. What you met, although not exactly a horrible fate, did not fall too far from that classification.

Kanaya was looking at you, gaze intense enough to burn. Her eyes were heavy-lidded, her cheeks tinged jade, her lips parted just enough to show a set of sharp, fang-like teeth. In proper vampire fashion, two of them rested against her bottom lip, plush and swollen from her previous activities, complete with the smudged lipstick and trail of red lining her chin. Shit. If you still had any semblance of reason left, that was the exact moment it was entirely obliterated. You swallowed nervously, and it felt like you had shoved an entire rock down your throat.

You didn’t know who moved first. This was either due to your increasingly deteriorating mental capacities, blood loss or some kind of romantic bullshit. Once again, you didn’t care. Kanaya pressed her lips to yours, and you found they tasted faintly of iron. _Blood._ Her fangs felt cold and sharp against your skin, and you couldn’t help but shudder at the sensation. She pulled away to catch her breath, and you watched her in a trance as one of her hands settled on your cheek – her skin felt significantly warmer now.

You wondered where you should put your hands, if she would let you run them through her hair, but your train of thought was interrupted by her leaning in to kiss you once again, this time more roughly. You whined against her lips, and she took that as an opportunity to slip her tongue in, prodding at the roof of your mouth. You tried your best to reciprocate - you were going to die. She was way more assertive than you thought, what the fuck.

Her hand made its way to your neck, the light touch giving you goosebumps. She teased at the bite marks she left earlier with her fingertips, and it felt so weird yet oddly so good you straight up shivered. You found your hand had already made its way to her hair, regardless of any prior pondering. Her grip on your neck tightened, and you felt the tell-tale sharp pain of her fingernails digging in your skin. Fuck, it felt good. Why the fuck did it feel so good? You let out a undignified moan you barely even tried to silence and reflexively pulled at her hair – maybe a little too hard, because she suddenly stopped kissing you.

You felt your heart thrumming, out of control. Was she mad? Did you do something wrong? You had no idea anymore. And then you felt her tongue lick at the newly prodded incisions on your neck, and fuck, you were gone, it was over - you were dead. Thank you for coming everyone, but now is the end of our program. The lights were turning on, the stage curtains were being pulled and the audience were slowly rising from their seats as their disappointed whispers echoed through the theatre. She hummed against your neck, apparently enjoying the taste of the few droplets of blood she had found there, and suddenly she was nipping at the already sensitive skin and that wasn’t fair. 

You slipped a hand underneath her shirt and felt her shudder at the contact. You ran your thumb in soothing circles on the bare skin of her waist, noting how much more rough troll skin felt to the touch when compared to a human’s. The gesture made her shift in an attempt to get closer to you, which caused friction in your crotch area, which obviously resulted in you letting out a choked moan, somehow just as embarrassing as the previous one. Kanaya took that as a cue to repeat the movement, and this time the keen you let out was muffled by her lips on yours.

She grinded her hips against yours again, and you couldn't help but arch your back, bucking into the contact. God, you could barely breathe, Kanaya was rocking against you and her hands had somehow made their way under your shirt, teasing at the waistband of your jeans, and fuck, you couldn't breathe -- you couldn't breathe.

You reluctantly pulled back, panting. Your heart was doing a full gymnastic number in your ribcage.

"Are you okay?" Kanaya said, voice husky and you somehow got more turned on than you already were. "Was I too forceful?"

"No, you were fine, you were..." You tried to even out your breathing. "Fuck, I just need to catch my breath, wait."

She looked at you, expression vaguely dejected, her breath uneven and you thought _oh, fuck it._ You grabbed the collar of her shirt and plunged in for a clumsy kiss. She gasped, her arms already back on your waist, and yup, okay, you were doing this. She let you set your own pace -- much less frantic than hers, and it wasn't long until your hand wormed its way back to her hips, squeezing lightly. You were about to muster up all the courage you had left and trail it lower, towards her thighs, when you heard a weird... whirring... sound?

What the fuck ? It was faint, but you could hear it; a vague, rumbling noise. It sounded like some kind of motor -- not that you knew anything about mechanics. You begrudgingly broke the kiss to investigate further. You immediately regretted that decision when you saw Kanaya looking at you inquisitively, eyes almost comically huge. Her puppy dog eyes look was on point.

"Did you hear that ?" You asked, and worried briefly if you'd hallucinated the sound and ruined a perfectly good makeout session. Maybe you were nurturing some kind of psychosis, you thought, and at that moment the idea didn't seem so irrational.

Kanaya blinked, vision unfocused.

"Excuse me ?"

It came out slurred, almost hushed. She was out of breath, and her cheeks were tinged a lovely shade of emerald. Your heart fluttered at the realization that you did _this_ , she looked like this -- staggering breath, disheveled hair, her shirt riding up to expose the bare skin of her abdomen -- because of _you_. And god, did she look good right now. You weren't sure the same could be said for you.

You blinked hard, willing the self-deprecation away from your train of thoughts. You were the train conductor hastily making your way through the rows of passengers, muttering barely intelligible apologies as you bumped into them, and the self-hatred was cowering in a corner with no ticket, knowing it would get kicked out of the train for violating the law. Fuck yeah, fighting crime. Kanaya cleared her throat intently and you were suddenly brought back to reality. Oh yeah. The sound.

“There was a weird noise, just then. Some kind of whirring, or purring? Wait,” You paused -- you could still hear it. Faint, but it was still there. “You can hear it if you listen close.”

The room went silent as Kanaya’s face went from confusion to sudden understanding. “Oh.” Her face got significantly greener than it already was, which you honestly did not think was possible. “Yes. That sound.”

“Do you know what it is?” Maybe that was just how alternian washing machines sounded like. Kanaya looked nervous; she was fiddling with her fingers, refusing to meet your eye. You didn’t think she’d be that afflicted over a washing machine.

She sighed. “It was me.”

What. Was she a washing machine? You were pretty sure you would’ve noticed by now if that was the case, unless trolls had humanoid washing machines. You could not fathom the use for a humanoid washing machine, and you wondered briefly if that was considered cultural insensitivity.

“You can make that kind of sound?” You patted yourself on the back for avoiding a Freudian slip and managing not to mention washing machines in any shape or form.

“It’s a troll characteristic. Tonal fluttering. It happens when-” She hesitated. Her gaze settled on yours, vulnerable, and god - all you wanted to do was kiss her worried expression away. “When we feel content, or at ease.”

“You guys can purr?!” She almost jolted, taken aback by your sudden enthusiasm, and then nodded. What the fuck? That was ridiculously adorable. That was so ridiculously adorable it could easily belong in some kind of sickening slice of life anime specifically catered to the taste of touch-starved hermits – the touch-starved hermits being you.

“Wait,” Your brain back-tracked, suddenly aware it had skipped over a piece of crucial information. “You were feeling at ease?” Kanaya’s face was so green it was practically glowing. You found the sight oddly reminiscent of a stoplight. She nodded again, bashful, and you felt your heart swell with barely contained affection. You were pretty sure your eyes would have instantly taken on the shape of hot-pink cartoon hearts, had that been possible. Suddenly, you were glad life wasn’t a slice of life anime. Suddenly, you wanted to kiss Kanaya so bad you felt like your head would detach itself from your body and float away through the window if you didn’t.

“Can I kiss you again?” You asked, and you could basically hear your fondness for Kanaya seeping through your tone. She smiled, soft, and nodded for the third consecutive time. She was purring again. You felt so happy you could burst.

Against all odds, curiosity didn’t end up killing the cat. Yes, it might have gotten it into plenty of compromising situations, several of which could have easily resulted in its death, but in the end, it was all worth it. _It was worth it,_ you thought, and smiled against Kanaya’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> this was way longer than i intended it to be. honestly i doubt anyone's gonna read this because its a kanaya/reader fic and it's 2021. i STILL cant process 2021 is an actual year. i might have fucked up the tenses somewhere along the way but i doubt im gonna have enough brain power to reread this. i've got so much school work to do holy fuck bye


End file.
